Good Character Builds Trust

Building trust with others starts with building trust with yourself.

In his book, The Speed of Trust Stephen M.R. Covey talks about the 5 waves of trust, with the first wave being self-trust, that the five waves serve as a metaphor for how trust operates in our lives because it starts with each of us personally and has a ripple effect out to the world around us from there.

This metaphor resonates because it reminds us that everything is a choice and that the choices we make have flow-on effects on ourselves and others.

The first wave is self-trust which is required to be an effective leader. Self-trust starts with our character – who we are and even more importantly who we want to be. This is where choices come into play.

Everything is a choice

Our character has at its core, integrity, and intent. Integrity is about who we are and how congruent we are with what we say we will do and what we actually do, based on our intent.

This is important because leading is about helping others be the best they can be. When we show up for ourselves with integrity, we start to build trust. Integrity means being congruent and honest inside and out, walking your talk. Having the courage to act with fairness in accordance with your values and beliefs. Having humility and authenticity as a leader. A person who is humble is more concerned about what is right than being right, about acting on good ideas, than having good ideas.

When there is no gap between intent and behaviour there is integrity therefore trust can exist.

Flowing from our integrity is the intent we have, which has to do with our motives, our agendas, and the resulting behaviour. Motives are our reasons for doing something, it is about caring for ourselves and others. It is the WHY that motivates the WHAT. As Theodore Roosevelt said: “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care”. Our agenda comes from our motives. It is what we intend to do because of our motive, and it is where we demonstrate transparency of our intent because an agenda that inspires the greatest trust is generally one that seeks mutual benefit. Our behaviour typically is the outcome of our motive and agenda, it is where we demonstrate openness. When there is no gap between intent and behaviour there is integrity therefore trust can exist.

Here are 3 ways you can build on your character traits to create trust:

#1. Make and keep commitments to yourself

When you say you will do something do it. This is the greatest and most powerful tool to build trust in self and personal integrity. It can also be the hardest, this is because it can often be easier to keep commitments to others because they are outside us, yet the real trust starts inside. Therefore, keeping the commitments, we make to ourselves is vital to building our trust ‘muscle’.

#2. Be clear about what you stand for and be honest with yourself

Know what you value and believe in and that they are aligned with your vision for the success you wish to achieve. Ask yourself every day, am I being honest, is what I just said or did based on my values, and coming from a genuine concern to serve myself and others?

#3. Examine and refine your motives and declare your intent

When interacting with others, ask yourself are my actions motivated by the right things? When communicating, declare your intent and agenda as a powerful way of demonstrating openness. Use your values as a frame of reference to drive your behaviour in line with your intent.

We build our credibility, through developing our character and we are then able to create self-trust. Think of integrity as the roots of a great tree and intent is the trunk. We are all a work in progress, constantly learning and growing, just like a tree!