Stop Doing This One Thing!

The Number 1 Thing To Stop Doing To Lead Yourself And Others Effectively

There are many things that can get in the way of us being able to operate in our business and lives the way we want to.

It all revolves around our thinking and what we choose to think about.

Our thinking determines the meaning we give things and the actions we take which leads to the results we create.

There is one particular thinking pattern that prevents our ability to think good about ourselves and lead ourselves well and as a result be able to lead others effectively.

The number 1 thing to stop doing to lead yourself and others effectively is to…

Stop Criticising

“Criticism is both the easiest and least effective form of help.” Doe Zantamata

Criticising ourselves, and in this context meaning beating ourselves up and finding faults within us, is problematic.

It’s hurtful:

It damages our self-esteem and our relationships. There’s nothing like beating ourselves up to stop those ‘feel good’ feelings.

It doesn’t work:

It’s likely the things you criticise yourself for now is the same things you’ve been criticising yourself for many times before. Instead of helping, it demotivating it often leads to feel shame and angry. It also doesn’t address underlying problems that leads to the criticism.

It leads to unhappiness:

What you focus on is what you get. The more you focus on the areas you don’t like the more you will notice them and quite possibly do more of them and feel the uncomfortable feelings it evokes. It will also lead to more criticism of others.

Why do we criticise?

Our brains are ‘hard-wired’ to be negative – it links to our survival mechanism to keep ourselves safe and be cautious.

On top of that, in our upbringing we were exposed to limiting beliefs and opinions of others which influenced the way we thought about and saw ourselves. Most of us began criticising ourselves at an early age.

How to stop criticising.

The good news is that we didn’t always criticise ourselves we learnt how to which means we can learn not to.

To break the habit of criticising yourself, focus on your thinking and developing your relationship with you:

Accept yourself:

Be aware of when you are judging yourself. Every time you notice you are judging yourself. Flip your thoughts to thoughts of kindness, acceptance and appreciation of who you are and where you are in your life.

Connect with yourself:

Spend time developing your relationship with yourself and enjoying the person you are. You will find all your relationships improve with less judgment and more loving thoughts. Positive affirmations, meditating and listening to personal development experts whilst walking or relaxing can really help with understanding yourself more and connecting to yourself.

Assume everyone is doing the best they can:

With this perspective, we reduce criticising ourselves and others which helps us have compassion. Never put down others and try think kind thoughts when triggered by other people.

If you want to lead yourself and others effectively, treat yourself kindly. Practice acceptance rather than judging, compassion over criticism and gratitude over thinking about what you don’t have in your life.

What we focus on is what we get more of in our life.

If you want to discuss how you can lead yourself and others effectively then reach out to Claire at Leaders Network at hello@leadersnetworkgroup.com.au