Emotional Intelligence in Leadership: A Game Changer for Business

Emotional Intelligence is a topic that many people talk about, particularly when it comes to leadership, but do most of us understand what it is and how we can develop it, assuming we don't already have it? What is 'it'?

It is a thing; that is what it is! Yes, Emotional Intelligence is a real thing. Emotional intelligence was first used in a research paper by two psychology professors, John D. Mayer of the University of New Hampshire and Peter Salovey of Yale. Some years later, Mayer defined emotional Intelligence in Harvard Business Review (HBR) in this way - "From a scientific (rather than a popular) standpoint, emotional intelligence is the ability to accurately perceive your own and others’ emotions; to understand the signals that emotions send about relationships; and to manage your own and others’ emotions...”

Almost ten years later, psychologist Daniel Goleman highlighted the importance of emotional intelligence to business leadership in his HBR article 'What Makes a Leader’, where he states unequivocally that "The most effective leaders are all alike in one crucial way: they all have a high degree of what has come to be known as emotional intelligence. It’s not that IQ and technical skills are irrelevant. They do matter, but…they are the entry-level requirements for executive positions…. emotional intelligence is the sine qua non of leadership. Without it, a person can have the best training in the world, an incisive, analytical mind, and an endless supply of smart ideas, but he still won’t make a great leader." For those of us less academic, the term 'sine qua non' means something indispensable or essential.

How we think influences everything that we do from a rational and emotional viewpoint. We see the world through our minds, not our eyes, and nothing has meaning other than what we give it. If developing leadership skills is essential to you, then how you choose to show up in business and life mindfully will influence how you can build or strengthen your emotional intelligence over time. Creating the discipline to do this is simply choosing between what you want now and what you want most.

“Experience is not what happens to you — it’s how you interpret what happens to you.” — Aldous Huxley.

In 1998, Goleman originally developed five domains of emotional intelligence, which were then redesigned into four, known as the Emotional Quadrant. As Goleman researched, the four domains incorporate all the original emotional intelligence aspects.

1. Self-awareness

The ability and confidence to recognise your moods, emotions, and drivers, as well as how others affect you and how you affect others for positive outcomes.

2. Self-management

The ability to understand other people's emotional makeup and empathy in treating people according to their needs. This includes acting congruently with your values, flexibility, level of intrinsic motivation, and ability to overcome challenges.

3. Social Awareness

Responding versus reacting to situations, suspending judgement, listening to hear others, and picking up on the mood of environments.

4. Relationship Management

Proficiency in managing relationships, handling conflict, building networks, finding common ground, and building rapport.

"The core skill in social awareness is empathy—sensing what others are thinking and feeling, without them telling you in words." Daniel Goleman

Improving emotional intelligence is essential for being an effective and focused leader. Building great emotional intelligence will also help you build better relationships, enhance communication, and navigate social situations effectively. The good news is we all can change our behaviour and our thoughts. We must choose to want to do it, say yes, and the how to do this will look after itself.

Here are five tips to help you improve your emotional intelligence:

Tip #1 - Increase Self-Awareness

Regularly take time to feel, name and sit with your emotions. Ask yourself, “How am I feeling and why”? Including these reflections in your journal can also be a helpful way of connecting with your emotions. Understanding your strengths in handling emotions and what triggers them will help you respond more effectively.

Tip #2 - Develop Listening Skills

Actively listen to understand, not to respond. The age-old adage is that we are given two ears and one mouth for a reason. Stephen R. Covey's fifth habit of highly effective people is to "seek first to understand, then to be understood". Focus on what the other person is saying without interrupting or planning your response. Aim to understand the other person's perspective and the emotions behind it as you consider how they may be feeling.

Tip #3 - Practice Empathy

Empathy can be enhanced through active listening, curiosity, and asking open-ended questions as you show genuine interest in the other person's experiences. This will enable you to develop an ability to recognise and share the feelings of others. Pay attention to non-verbal signals such as facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice to understand someone's emotions better.

Tip #4 - Focus on Self-Regulation

Learn healthy ways to manage your stress levels with mindfulness, meditation, deep breathing, and effective planning to manage yourself and maximise your time. Build strong habits to control impulsive actions by pausing before reacting to situations and considering your response. Have an attitude of gratitude and journal what is going on for you to explore for yourself continually.

Tip# 5 - Enhance Social Skills

Develop strong communication skills by improving your ability to express your thoughts and emotions in a resourceful way, which is key to building and maintaining healthy relationships. Learn how to manage and resolve conflicts constructively and stay calm when needing to have difficult conversations.

Improving emotional intelligence is an ongoing process. Developing these leadership skills takes time and effort, which can profoundly impact your personal and professional life. Practice these tips regularly to build good habits and seek feedback from others to gauge your progress. You will be grateful that you did, as small changes compound over time, and doing this will be worth the effort in the long run.

If you want to explore how to develop your emotional intelligence further, book your Complimentary Strategy Session with a lead coach at Leaders Network.